Cops vs. Vampires

     It's recently occurred to me that vampires and cops are basically the same thing.

 Here are some of the similarities:

 1. They both do most of their work at night. Cops reasoning for this is that the "bad guys" are out doing bad guy type stuff almost exclusively during the evening hours. Vampires have a more reasonable explanation for their post-sunset tomfoolery in that they may burst into flames and blow up during the daytime. Regardless of the rational, they definitely share a similar schedule.

 2. They can both take a gunshot to the chest. Everyone knows that only wooden bullets(and sometimes silver) can kill a vampire. Cops wear bulletproof vests to not only withstand the occasional blast to the chest, but have the added benefit of not being susceptible to the aforementioned(rarely used) wooden or silver projectiles.

3. Women like men in uniform. Suspiciously enough, they also seem to have a fondness for vampires! The later may be due to some type of mind control or hypnosis. More research is needed into this.

4. They both need your permission to enter your home. Aside from the occasionally issued search warrant, cops need to have your permission to enter your home. Vampires also need your permission to enter your home but unlike vampires, once a cop is in the middle of destroying/digging through all of your shit it's very hard to retract your invitation.

 5.  They both suck your blood. Vampires literally suck your blood while cops choose to suck your financial blood through fees, fines, parking tickets, speeding tickets, street sweeping tickets, fix-it tickets, registration, inspection, emissions testing, the list goes on and on.

 

  6. They both have an asshole-y superiority complex. While Vampires attitudes are easier to accept since they're really old and super strong and all that, cops same attitude is completely unwarranted. The job description is to "serve and protect" not to "hassle and fine".